Roses are Red
by FullmetalMeep
Summary: "Aren't you forgetting something?" Ed started to sweat a little, trying to think of what he meant. For one insane moment, he thought the colonel wanted a kiss goodbye, and instantly hated himself for it. The things his mind came up with sometimes… -Belated RoyEd Valentine's Day oneshot-


**Hello all! Meep here! Heheh, so clearly I'm a little late for Valentine's Day, but better late than never, right? Haha, I've been meaning to do some kinda Valentine's fic for literally years now and this year I finally got my lazy ass in gear to crank this out like the day before...But then school and work happened for a few days. OTL. Well, I hope you like it anyway! Let me know and I hope to post something a little less cutesy next time XD. This may have been rated 'K' if not for Ed's language. I even tried to tone it down this time and still failed X'D.**

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'Do you know what day it is? …It's Valentine's Day!' he'd said, when Ed stubbornly refused to bite. 'Isn't there _someone_ you'd like to show your appreciation for?' 'Come on, Ed, after all he's done for you?' he'd insisted, shoving a bundle into his arms and pushing him out the door before he could complain. 'Here, take this, don't be difficult. Have a nice time!'

The door slammed and Ed was left standing on the doorstep, holding a bouquet of flowers and not too sure of what had just happened. And just as he was turning around to march back inside, he heard the deadbolt slide into place.

Goddammit, Al.

Why did he always have to be so good at figuring everything out? Ed shuffled down the pathway leading from the inn they were staying at, kicking any stray stones that dared to get in his way. In his hand, he gripped a large (girly, stupid) bouquet of flowers that Al had insisted he take to Colonel Mustang. Goddamn that two-faced bastard with his shit-eating grin… There was NO WAY Ed was going to bring him flowers! That was weird! What was so good about him, anyway? Ed frowned and eyed the roses in his left hand, considering transmuting them into a gnarly clump of weeds. But in the end he sighed and hung his head, displaying the depth of his woes to no one in particular and continued walking. If he did that, Al would find out just like he always did. Somehow.

As he walked, his free hand buried deep in his pocket, he tried not to dwell on the question of how exactly Al had figured it out –that Ed didn't hate the colonel quite as much as he claimed to. Ed had just barely figured it out himself, but it seemed like this was all old hat to Al. Ed scowled. It wasn't even that big a deal, really: he could ignore it most of the time if he wanted to. He just didn't always want to, that's all. Anyway, even if he did…sort of have a thing for the colonel (Gate, it felt so perverse to even think), that didn't mean he was going to act on it! Ed had just figured this was some sorta phase and all he had to do was wait it out. His teenage hormones were raging and all that, and it was only natural that he should feel this way, right? Well, that didn't exactly account for the fact that his hormones had chosen the colonel, a man, of all people as the object of their desire, but he saw him a lot so it made sense, right? Who else was he supposed to lust after, Winry? Not likely. …Not that he was lusting after Colonel Mustang, either! Agh!

He blushed, feeling a little embarrassed at the direction his thoughts had taken. What was Al thinking? Deciding that Ed should show his 'appreciation' for the colonel on_Valentine's Day_ of all godforsaken days.

Edward's head perked up as he noticed a large white building rising up before him: Central Command. Shit, he was here already? He groaned. The inn he and Al had crashed at last night wasn't that far from the city, so Ed had barely even had time to consider changing his mind before he was there. He gave a little sigh. He could see the guards off in the distance and instantly felt a little self-conscious of the flowers he held. Well, too late to turn back now: never let it be said that Edward Elric was a coward.

Summoning all his courage, he walked up the front steps, into the building, and down the hall to the stairwell, ignoring the looks he got from various military personnel he passed on his way to the colonel's second-floor office.

After what felt like forever, wandering the labyrinth that was the hallways of Central Command, Ed finally saw the right door just ahead. He ran toward it, the poor, abused flowers smacking against his thigh.

In retrospect, he had been stupid to see Roy's office as some sort of light at the end of the tunnel; so, so stupid. For no sooner had he opened the door and stumbled inside, was he greeted with,

"My, my, Fullmetal," the colonel boomed from across his desk, his hands folded delicately under his chin. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

Oh, where the hell was Roy's staff when you needed them? The five other soldiers who often made for such a good buffer between Ed and the other man were now nowhere to be seen. Fullmetal snarled something under his breath and stormed across the room, quickly closing the distance between them before thrusting the bouquet in his hands across the desk with a curt, 'here.'

The colonel's face fell open into a look of shock but he quickly hid it and accepted the gift. "Flowers? For me?" he asked, his tone somewhat patronizing as he turned the bouquet over in his hands.

"Tch," Ed hissed, unable to look at him. "Don't act so surprised, you shit, I'm sure you get a ton of stuff on a day like today." This time, Roy didn't bother to hide his surprise, raising his eyebrows incredulously at Ed from over the flowers. "Uh, I mean…" Ed sputtered. "I mean, I've heard the r-…Uh, it was Al's idea!" he fumbled. "Yeah, he made me give these to you. I think they're ugly, but you can have them, I guess. I don't care." Ed felt his face heat up and abruptly turned his head away from the colonel. That almost went in a really weird direction. But damn if what he had just said didn't sound like a pathetic lie, anyway. Well, it was_sorta_ true…

After a beat, he thought he could make out an amused-sounding exhale from opposite his gaze and the crinkling of flowers being set down.

"Well, thank you."

Ed drew in a startled breath and couldn't stop himself from turning back to look in the direction of the colonel's voice. His face, normally mockingly impassive, now displayed the sincerity in his voice and he smiled to himself, his eyes closed thoughtfully.

What was he thinking about, anyway?

Ed shook his head sharply. He did not wanna spend his time mooning over Colonel Bastard, noo thank you. Who cared what he was thinking about anyway? Probably wondering whose ass to kiss for his next promotion.

"Yeah ,well, I gotta go now, bye!" Ed announced awkwardly and made a mad dash for the door.

This seemed to snap Roy out of whatever trance he was in. "Fullmetal!"

Despite himself, Ed stopped cold. Shit. "Now what?" he griped, not turning around.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Ed started to sweat a little, trying to think of what he meant. For one insane moment, he thought the colonel wanted a kiss goodbye, and instantly hated himself for it. The things his mind came up with sometimes…

Roy laughed heartily, and Ed flushed up to the tips of his ears: he knew!

"If memory serves,_I'm_ the one who summoned _you_ here, isn't that right?"

Ed visibly breathed a sigh of relief and finally turned around to face his superior. "Uh, yeah, that's right. What is it?" He really had no idea. True, he had just come back from a mission, but his report wasn't due for another week…

The colonel seemed pleased with himself. "It's just a little something, don't worry." He leaned back in his chair. "On your way out, go visit Angela at the front desk. She'll tell you everything you need to know."

Ed frowned. Why did he get the distinct feeling the colonel was baiting him? He tried to beat him at his own game. "Why can't you just tell me yourself?"

"Come now, Fullmetal, where's your sense of adventure? This wouldn't be interesting if I told you myself."

Ed glared at him. Adventure…?

"Go on," Roy urged. "I've got a very busy day ahead of myself, just as you predicted." He laughed, and Ed's shoulders bunched up defensively. Clearly, this whole thing had been a waste of his time. Stupid Colonel. And stupid Al, too.

"Alright, I'm goin', I'm goin'," he muttered, and made his way to the door without incident…For the most part.

"Thanks again for the flowers, Fullmetal!" Roy called just a bit louder than necessary as Ed shut the door. Dammit! And it was too late to slam the door, too.

As he trudged his way down to the ground floor, Ed considered skipping the colonel's stupid "adventure" and walking straight back out the front door. If he thought he was gonna drag Ed all the way out here just to send him away again, he had another thing comin'. But in the end, his curiosity got the better of him.

"Um, hi, I was sent here by Colonel Mustang?" Edward said politely to the woman behind the counter. "He said you'd tell me everything I needed to know…" There really was no way to sound professional with what little that bastard had given him to go off of –and that was after omitting the whole "adventure" thing.

But she didn't seem to notice. "Ah, yes, Roy sent you?"

"Uh, yeah." 'Roy?' They were on a first name basis? What did this guy go chatting up every woman in town? He tried not to make a face at her as she told him to wait a moment and rose from her seat, going to get something from the shelf behind her.

He coulda sworn she was smirking a little as she handed him a small cream-coloured envelope a moment later.

"Here you go!"

Ed just stared for a moment, turning the thing over in his hands. "You sure this is it? He said you'd tell me…" he trailed off, confused.

She smiled at him. "Maybe he said that, but that's definitely it. Have a nice time, Edward."

"Yeah, you too," Ed murmured, not really hearing her as he shuffled away.

The second he got out the front doors, he tore open the envelope to see what was so top-secret the colonel couldn't even tell him himself. Inside was a plain piece of paper folded into fourths that Ed would later discover was simply a piece of stationery from the man's desk. He opened it up and read:

_'Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_If you can spare me the time_

_I've an offer for you…'_

What the hell? If this was that bastard's cutesy way of getting him to run errands for him, it wasn't going to happen. Dammit, deep down he knew this was going to be about a mission… But he kept reading.

_'Fullmetal, it's been awhile. If you're not too busy, why don't you stop by the sidewalk café on South St. this evening at seven and we can catch up? My treat. And don't worry, this is strictly off the record. I'll see you there.'_

He could almost hear the colonel laughing at the idea of Ed thinking he was ordering him to go to dinner with him: which is exactly what he had initially thought. It was like he was reading his mind.

It was simply signed 'Roy' at the bottom in a delicate cursive Ed knew the colonel didn't use to sign his paperwork… He suddenly glanced around self-consciously, realizing he had come to a full halt in the middle of the courtyard, that he had no idea what kind of expression he was making, and that it must have been embarrassing by the amused way the two guards outside were considering him.

"Got a hot date, Fullmetal?" one of them called out, half to Ed and half to the other man and anyone else who might be listening.

Ed blushed furiously and stuffed the note into his coat pocket. "No, of course not!" he all but shrieked and started hurrying away, feeling his face heat up even more when he heard the two of them laughing and joking behind his back.

Once he was out of sight, he stopped again and, making sure he was alone this time, took the card back out of his pocket. He reread it. _'I'll see you there…'_ Was he asking him out? He…couldn't quite believe it. But then again, what did the man have to gain by pulling one over on him? Well, one way or another, he was gonna get a free meal outta this. And he always sorta wondered what the colonel looked like in his civvies…

Which reminded him: carefully this time, he replaced the note before pulling out his pocket watch. "Already three," he murmured. He had to get ready, himself. Assuming, he was gonna go at all, that is: he could still blow it off. He grinned and shook his head at himself. Then, clicking his pocket watch shut, he dropped it back into his pants pocket and broke into a run. He had to get back to the room so he could tell Al what had happened. He had to hand it to him –once again, Al had things all figured out long before he had. Clearly, he was going to have to start following his little brother's advice more often.

**Original text**

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